FORGIVING IS POSSIBLE

Mother cares for her son’s Amish victims

2011-10-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

By Daniel Burke

September 29, 2011

LANCASTER, Pa. (RNS) Terri Roberts was eating outsidewith a co-worker on a bright October day when an ambulance wailed nearby and ahelicopter swooped overhead.

As she often did at a sirens’ sound, Roberts said a quick prayer.

“Little did I know what I was praying for,” she said.

Walking back to her office, Roberts heard the phone ring. It was herhusband, Chuck.

“I need you to come to Charlie’s house right away,” he said, referring totheir 32-year-old son.

Terri jumped into her car. The radio broadcast said there had been ashooting at an Amishschoolhouse in nearby NickelMines, Pa., where Charlie sometimes parked his milk truck.
Read more »

Living forgiveness: Lessons on the fifth anniversary of the Amish schoolhouse shootings

2011-10-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

Five years after a massacre devastated Lancaster County'sAmish, the way they have coped with the tragedy holds lessons for all

By L. Gregory Jones

October 2, 2011
Five years ago today, Charles Carl Roberts IV entered an Amish school inNickel Mines, Pa., and shot 10 girls — mortally wounding five — before killinghimself. This quiet, rural community in Lancaster Countysuddenly became a place of unprecedented contrasts: violence amid peacefulpeople, hordes of satellite trucks in a place that favors simplicity.

Most striking, in a world of deep division and blame-offering, was thenearly immediate forgiveness the Amish community expressed to the Robertsfamily. This was not forgiveness offered in a prepared statement, delivered bylawyers or news crews, but forgiveness offered in person, from one human beingto another.
Read more »

Forgiving the man who has deformed her face

2011-07-31T18:51:00.000-07:00

Another beautiful story of forgiveness. Her name is Ameneh Bahrami. She has no form or comeliness; and when we see her, there is no beauty that we should desire her. Nevertheless, the outstanding beauty lies unquestionably in her heart.

Blinded Iranian rejects eye-for-eye punishment of attacker

TEHRAN—An Iranian woman blinded and disfigured by a man who threw acid into her face stood above her attacker Sunday in a hospital operating room as a doctor was about to put several drops of acid in one of his eyes in court-ordered retribution.

The man waited on his knees and wept.
Read more »

How to forgive monsters

2011-05-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

One is the story of Sunny Jacobs who had been jailed for 17 years wrongfully accused; the other is Debbie Morris who at 16 were kidnapped and raped multiple times by a man named Robert Willie who was played by Sean Penn in "Dead Man Walking."

Nota bene:
Sean Penn was a dead ringer for Robert Lee Willey in the movie "Dead Man Walking." Just when Debbie thought she had put the past behind her, it was now haunting her from bookstore windows and theater marquis. Now, Debbie had someone else to forgive, the real life nun, Sister Helen Prejean, who wrote the book on which the movie was based -- the nun who was Robert Willey's spiritual advisor and friend -- the nun who never consulted Debbie when she wrote her book.

Debbie made a call to ask her why. That was the beginning of an unusual friendship.

"We do have differences of opinion about things. But we share the things that are most important -- a love for Jesus Christ, a will to be obedient to God, and a value for human life. Whether it's the life of the victims of the life of the perpetrator or offender."

And that's why Debbie wrote a book to tell her own story. (CBN)

A 9/11 Friendship of Forgiveness

2011-05-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Two mothers—one whose son was killed on 9/11, one whose son is jailed for conspiracy to commit the attacks—explain their unlikely friendship.

On September 11, 2001, Phyllis Rodriguez' son, Greg, was killed in the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center. Two months later, Aicha el-Wafi's son, Zacarias Moussaou, was indicted on charges of conspiring to plan the attack that killed him.

In 2002, the two mothers met. Over the years they have built an unlikely friendship based on forgiveness, peace, and hope for the future.
Read more »

The Night I Forgave My Daughter's Killer

2011-05-27T15:02:00.000-07:00

by Marietta Jaeger-Lane, as told to Lynsi Burton
May 27, 2011

We hoped this would be a once-in-a-lifetime family vacation—camping for a whole month in Montana. One night, at our first stop, our 7-year-old daughter Susie was kidnapped out of our tent. The tent was cut next to where her head had lain; she was pulled out and carried away.

My husband and dad drove to the next town and returned with the sheriff. A massive investigation ensued, while all we could do was to sit at the picnic table and watch, wait, and worry.
Read more »

C. S. Lewis on forgiveness

2011-05-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

The problem of forgiveness:

. . . you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart—every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out. The difference between this situation and the one in such you are asking God’s forgiveness is this. In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people’s we do not accept them easily enough.

As regards my own sin it is a safe bet (though not a certainty) that the excuses are not really so good as I think; as regards other men’s sins against me it is a safe bet (though not a certainty) that the excuses are better than I think. One must therefore begin by attending to everything which may show that the other man was not so much to blame as we thought.

A time to love and a time to hate

2011-04-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

A new forgiveness film has been released. A film by Helen Whitney. The title is Forgiveness: A time to love and a time to hate. Divided into two 90-minute acts, the film will air on Sundays, April 17 and 24, 2011 at 10pm ET on PBS stations nationwide (please check your local listings).

Please visit Fetzer Institute!

The dance of forgiveness

2011-02-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel, but learning how to embody it is not easy. In their new book, "Forgiving As We've Been Forgiven," L. Gregory Jones and Célestin Musekura provide a guide for the practice of forgiveness.

February 1, 2011 | Célestin Musekura’s mother had been presumed dead in the 1992 Rwandan genocide. Many months later, though nearly their entire village had been destroyed, she was found alive.
Read more »

Mandela and Suu Kyi

2010-12-17T21:23:00.000-08:00

Another 5-star article from Cardus. The author compares Mandela with Suu Kyi.

Point of View
Extraordinary Leadership
December 17, 2010 - Janet Epp Buckingham

I was sitting in a conference room at a historic English chateau when I heard that Nelson Mandela was being released and the African National Congress unbanned. Two of the men sitting in the conference room began to cry; they were black South Africans who had not been allowed to go back to South Africa for 25 years.
Read more »

For now, excuse me if I don't forgive you

2010-12-16T06:25:00.000-08:00

A 20-year-old Terri-Lynne McClintic is pleaded guilty of first-degree murder in the death of Grade 3 student Tori Stafford. Here I re-post excerpts from the statements of grief and loss from the Staffords. I admit that in such situation it is really hard to even think of forgiving the offender.

Victim impact statements from Tori Stafford’s family (December 09, 2010)

Rosie DiManno

WOODSTOCK, ONT. - The emptiness is overwhelming and words do not suffice.

But those who knew Tori Stafford best, loved her most, did try to articulate their unbearable loss in victim impact statements read into the court record, prior to the conviction and mandatory life sentence for murder in the first degree imposed on Terri-Lynne McClintic. A temporary ban on the proceedings has now been partly lifted.

What follows are excerpts from the statements delivered by members of the 8-year-old’s grieving family.
Read more »

Pohl on grace enters with the stranger

2010-11-23T09:12:00.000-08:00

The practice of hospitality is central to Christian institutions and Christian leadership, says theologian and ethicist Christine D. Pohl.

Christian leaders have a critical role to play in restoring the institutional practice of hospitality, Christine D. Pohl said. And the best place they can learn about hospitality is often from those who are on the margins, she said.

“You have to be a stranger yourself,” Pohl said. “There has to be an intentional marginality, an intentional experience that becomes part of our spiritual discipline.”

Institutions are essential to the practice of hospitality, which Pohl says is not simply a matter of pleasantries but of finding ways to identify with the experiences and perspectives of marginalized people. “One can’t claim the role of host all the time; … it is a gift also to be willing to be guests and to share in people’s lives.”
Read more »

Is it Time for Forgiveness? The Journey of Forgiveness: A Living Narrative of Transformation

2010-11-15T10:46:00.000-08:00

Dr. Gayle L. Reed

Gayle Reed received a PhD from the University of Wisconsin in Educational Psychology. During her work at the University of Wisconsin, Gayle participated in the Forgiveness Research Program under the auspices of Dr. Robert Enright. Dr. Reed's research on forgiveness therapy for women after spousal abuse is published in the October 2006 issue of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. Gayle currently teaches "The Psychology of Interpersonal Forgiveness" at the University of Wisconsin Extension and has an ongoing practice of forgiveness psychology workshops and individual forgiveness recovery consultation.

Forgiveness is perhaps the central virtue in a person’s religious or spiritual life. Yet it may be the most difficult response to consider after a horrific and violent event such as the recent campus shootings at Virginia Tech. Questions naturally arise: Shouldn’t one be angry about such a cruel and senseless event? Isn’t the pursuit of justice more important than forgiveness? Shouldn’t we find out why someone didn’t provide better protection from the violence? Wouldn’t the victims have to ignore their very real feelings of pain and grief if they forgive too soon? But other questions arise also: How should a person best respond to unjust suffering? Can an unfairly injured person become a stronger, better person by forgiving? How does forgiveness impact the restoration of a wounded community?

During the forgiveness process, it is, indeed, important to spend sufficient time uncovering anger and grieving the undeserved pain of the wrongdoing…but with the express purpose of relinquishing debilitating resentment and/or revenge. Most central to forgiveness is the paradoxical benevolent response of goodwill toward the wrongdoer (even if he/she is no longer alive). In this way the injured person him/herself finds release and healing. Then engagement in the pursuit of restorative justice and related social causes can proceed with a positive energy that is no longer confused by or acting as a form of resentment or revenge. Thus can communities also become places of healing rather than the settings of relentless cycles of violence and revenge (however subtle or “legally justified”).
Read more »

Miroslav Volf's lecture

2010-10-04T21:14:00.000-07:00

Free of Charge? Forgiveness and Faith in a World of Rejection and Rights
Brown University
8 February 2010.

NAE urges cancellation of planned Qu’ran burning

2010-09-23T07:33:00.002-07:00

Press Release: NAE Urges Cancellation of Planned Qu’ran Burning
For Immediate Release: July 29, 2010
Contact: Sarah Kropp, 202-789-1011

The National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) encourages increased understanding and reconciliation between those of different faiths and backgrounds, and it laments efforts that work against a just and peaceful society. The plans recently announced by a Florida group to burn copies of the Qu’ran on September 11 show disrespect for our Muslim neighbors and would exacerbate tensions between Christians and Muslims throughout the world. The NAE urges the cancellation of the burning.
Read more »

WWJD? Not burn the Quran

2010-09-23T07:33:00.000-07:00

A small church in Gainesville, Fla., (ironically called Dove World Outreach Center) has announced plans to burn copies of the Quran on Sept. 11, in vengeful commemoration of the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington nine years ago. This news item happened to reach me while I was attending a conference in Berlin, Germany - and for that reason it struck me with special force.

Earlier that same day, I had stood in a public square known as the Bebelplatz, just across the street from Berlin's Humboldt University. In the middle of the Bebelplatz there is a translucent panel embedded in the pavement. Looking down through the glass, you see below ground many rows of white bookshelves, all completely empty.
Read more »

Celestin Musekura

2010-09-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

Raising up hope

The founder and president of ALARM Inc. trains civilian and religious leaders in Africa in character building, theology, conflict resolution, community development and forgiveness.

An ordained Baptist minister and a native Rwandan, Musekura earned a master’s degree in sacred theology and a doctorate in theological studies at Dallas Theological Seminary. He received a master of divinity from Nairobi Evangelical Graduate School of Theology in Kenya. Musekura has studied conflict resolution, mediation and reconciliation at Eastern Mennonite University in Virginia and Southern Methodist University in Texas.

While at Duke Divinity School’s Summer Institute, Musekura spoke with Faith & Leadership about training prophetic leaders in Africa. The video clip is an excerpt from the following edited transcript of the interview.
Read more »

Kim Shin Jo

2010-08-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

A North Korean man trained to kill the president of South Korea is forgiven, and now a pastor. CNN's Kyung Lah reports.

Kim Shin Jo is a protestant minister - the gentle leader of his church. But the 69-year-old is best known by history as a trained killer.

Three decades ago, he and 30 others slipped from North Korea into Seoul to kill the South Korean president.

He was the face of evil and terror for a generation of Koreans - a North Korean commando fighter who came into Seoul to assassinate the South Korean president at the time, Park Jung Hee.

Kim recalls the chilling announcement he made to reporters more than 30 years ago:

"I came from North Korea to kill president Park Chung Hee. I came to cut the throat of Park Chung Hee," Kim said.

"We were taught that America had turned South Korea into a colony," he said, "and our mission was to remove the puppet government."

In January, 1968, 31 North Korean commandos managed to slip across the border, through the woods, and make it within a few hundred meters of the president's residence. But a South Korean police officer confronted them. A gunfight ensued.

In the end, more than 30 South Koreans were killed. All of the North Korean commandos were killed, except one who managed to make it back into North Korea and Kim Shin Jo, who was captured.

Kim underwent months of interrogation while captive behind bars. A South Korean army general befriended him - and broke through his hardened training.

"I tried to kill the president. I was the enemy," Kim said. "But the South Korean people showed me sympathy and forgiveness. I was touched and moved."

The government eventually released Kim, finding he never fired a shot from his gun and didn't hurt anyone during the assassination attempt.

Kim later worked for the South Korean military, became a citizen, married and had a family. Then he became a minister.

He is now the country's symbol of redemption.

Today, tensions on the divided peninsula are the highest in a decade - with few answers for workable, long-term solutions. But Kim is living proof that even the hardest of hearts in this conflict can change.

Kim reflected on footage of himself held captive in 1968.

"On that day, Kim Shin Jo died," Kim said. "I was reborn. I got my second life. And I'm thankful for that."

Forgiveness or punishment?

2010-08-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

A nun's death and illegal immigration: Forgiveness or punishment?
By Elizabeth Tenety
August 4, 2010; 10:30 AM ET

On Sunday, Sister Denise Mosier, 66, a Benedictine nun and former missionary in Africa was killed and two others gravely injured when, on their way to a retreat, their car was hit by an alleged drunk driver.

The 23-year-old driver, Carlos Martinelly Montano, is reported to be in the United States illegally from Bolivia, and has two previous drunken-driving convictions and has been awaiting long-delayed deportation hearings.

With immigration debates flaring up in both Arizona and Virginia, it didn't take long for immigration reform advocates to politicize Sister Denise's death.

But the Benedictines are emphasizing mercy over politics.

As the Post reported:
Sister Glenna Smith, a spokeswoman for the Benedictine Sisters, said Tuesday that "we are dismayed" by reports that the crash . . . is focusing attention on the man's status as an alleged illegal immigrant. Critics of federal immigration policy have seized on the crash. "He's a child of God and deserves to be treated with dignity," Smith said of the driver, Carlos A. Martinelly Montano. "I don't want to make a pro- or anti-immigrant statement but simply a point that he is an individual human person and we will be approaching him with mercy. Denise, of all us, would be the first to offer forgiveness." . . . "We are also confident that responses of mercy and forgiveness, though not usually easy, are not optional for Christians," read the order's statement on Tuesday.

The Benedictines may be advocating forgiveness, but when it comes to immigration reform, the Catholic Church rejects official pardon.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops say they are not amnesty advocates, but are rather taking a 'path to citizenship' approach: The USCCB has called for a comprehensive reform bill that would, among other provisions, " give migrant workers and their families an opportunity to earn legal permanent residency and eventual citizenship."

At a recent House Judiciary subcommittee meetings, Bishop Gerald Kicanas of Tucson, Arizona framed the debate in moral terms. "Immigration is ultimately a humanitarian issue since it impacts the basic rights and dignity of millions of persons and their families. As such, it has moral implications, especially how it impacts the basic survival and decency of life experienced by human beings like us," Kicanas said.

In light of Sister Denise's death, what is the proper role of religious forgiveness in society? Are the Benedictines right to emphasize Christian forgiveness? Are the bishops correct to eschew amnesty?

When is it right to forgive, and when to punish?

The trial of Pope Benedict XVI

2010-07-27T15:18:00.000-07:00

Thursday, May. 27, 2010
The Trial of Pope Benedict XVI
By Jeff Israely and Howard Chua-Eoan

How do you atone for something terrible, like the Inquisition? Joseph Ratzinger attempted to do just that for the Roman Catholic Church during a grandiose display of Vatican penance — the Day of Pardon on March 12, 2000, a ritual presided over by Pope John Paul II and meant to purify two millenniums of church history. In the presence of a wooden crucifix that had survived every siege of Rome since the 15th century, high-ranking Cardinals and bishops stood up to confess to sins against indigenous peoples, women, Jews, cultural minorities and other Christians and religions. Ratzinger was the appropriate choice to represent the fearsome Holy Office of the Inquisition: the German Cardinal was, at the time, head of its historical successor, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. When his turn came, Ratzinger, the church's premier theologian, intoned a short prayer that said "that even men of the church, in the name of faith and morals, have sometimes used methods not in keeping with the Gospel in the solemn duty of defending the truth."
Read more »

Is human forgiveness possible?

2010-07-27T15:06:00.001-07:00

The story I describe here occurred in Indonesia, in my first year of ministry as a parish pastor. As usual, before and after the service, I approached some of my parishioners to say hello to them, or to hold a small conversation with one or two people. On one occasion I had a chance to talk with Juliana (not her real name).

Juliana was one of my parishioners with whom I faced the problem of forgiveness. She was a sixty-five-year-old woman who had lost three of her family members in a fire.

Juliana was a wife with two daughters and two grandchildren. She owned a clothing kiosk which did good business at 'Senen' market. Her husband and daughters were always there for help. "We work in shifts," she said.

One day a horrific incident happened, the market had caught fire. A huge fire broke out and damaged kiosks, stalls, and buildings everywhere, including Juliana's kiosk. Meanwhile, an unknown group of people crossed the kiosk, plundering and looting as they went. Juliana reported that three of her family members were killed in the incident, namely her husband, her youngest daughter, and her sixteen-month-old grandson.

Juliana's husband and his grandson were asleep when the market was engulfed in flames. They died together upstairs in the kiosk. Juliana said, "Perhaps when my husband awoke and became aware of the incident, it was already too late." Her youngest daughter was killed while fleeing the fire. Juliana suspected someone had beaten her unconscious before the fire consumed her body as she was found dead with her right-hand grabbing hold of her neck.

Juliana herself, her eldest daughter, and her granddaughter were away from work when the incident took place. Therefore, they were all safe. But the fact that she and other family members were safe did not make her glad or feel relieved. Instead, she seemed to be very sad and depressed.

One parishioner who was a close friend of Juliana said to me, "Ever since the incident, even though Juliana still attends the church, she becomes very quiet and cries easily."

In my pastoral visit, however, I found that she was quite open to talk about her concerns and about the incident. What I noticed during the visit was that she told the story repetitively as though she was trying to find out what had happened. She extended her outrage to the perpetrators. Her suspicion was that arsonists had caused the incident and the death of her beloved daughter was not just an accident but a homicide attempted by the looters.

Juliana's experience raises important questions about the possibility of forgiveness. If I were to ask Juliana whether she was concerned about being able to forgive those arsonists and looters, I suppose she would immediately give no reply. Having listened to her story, I could not help but wonder: Had she failed to forgive? When the wounds haven't yet healed, could I expect her to forgive? Is forgiveness an isolated event from a larger healing process? If she immediately forgave those who wronged her, what does forgiveness mean to her? How does a Christian understanding of forgiveness inform what Juliana needed to do in relation to the perpetrators?

The word of reconciliation

2010-07-27T15:04:00.001-07:00

"The second epistle of Paul to the Corinthians is a message announcing that God’s work of reconciliation has begun."

by Richard Hays
July 20, 2010 | 2 Corinthians 5:14-6:2

Editor’s note: Faith & Leadership offers sermons that shed light on issues of Christian leadership. This sermon was preached June 1, 2010, at the Duke Center for Reconciliation’s Summer Institute. Scripture quotations follow the NRSV, except where the author has provided his own translation.
Read more »

Agca has been released

2010-07-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

The man who shot Pope John Paul II has been released from prison.

Forgiveness films

2010-07-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are interested in studying forgiveness through films, you might want to consider these films:

Movies:
Les Misérables (1998)
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)
Disgrace (2008)
Amish Grace (2010)
Long Day’s Journey Into Night (1996)
Flatliners (1990)
Stone Boy (1984)
Wild Strawberries, (1956)

Documentary films:
The Big Question (2007) http://www.bigquestionthemovie.com/
The Power of Forgiveness (2007) http://www.thepowerofforgiveness.com/
I Have Never Forgotten You: The Life and Legacy of Simon Wiesenthal (2007)
Forgiving Dr. Mengele (2006)
Blind Spot: Hitler’s Secretary (2002)

Please feel free to add to this list, if you know any other films that are related to the topic.

Christians' experiences of forgiving others

2010-05-05T08:04:00.000-07:00

Preliminary Literature Review
The literature review relating to the subject matter of the study considers three areas: definitions of forgiveness, Christian understandings of forgiveness, and the prior studies on Christians’ practice of granting forgiveness to other people.

A. Definitions of forgiveness
Rye & Pargament (2002) define forgiveness as letting go of negative feeling (e.g., hostility), negative thoughts (e.g., thoughts of revenge), and negative behaviour (e.g., verbal aggression) in response to considerable injustice, and also may involve responding positively toward the perpetrator (e.g., compassion).

There are two types of forgiveness (Worthington, 2003; Exline, Worthington, Hill, & McCullough, 2003; Worthington & Scherer, 2004; Wade & Worthington, 2003), namely decisional forgiveness and emotional forgiveness. The former involves a change in a person’s behavioural intentions, or a change in motivation, toward a perpetrator. The latter is a replacement of negative, unforgiving emotions with positive, other-oriented emotions. At first, the positive emotions neutralize some negative emotions, resulting in a decrease in negative emotions. Once the negative emotions are substantially removed, positive emotions are built.

Most researchers agree that forgiveness should be distinguished from reconciliation (Enright & the Human Development Study Group, 1994; Freedman, 1998), legal pardon (Enright & the Human Development Study Group, 1991), condoning (Veenstra, 1992), and forgetting (Smedes, 1996). Defining forgiveness using these distinctions allows people to forgive without compromising their safety or their right to pursue social justice.

One serious problem is whether forgiveness definitions employed by scholars or researchers are commonly understood by laypersons. Researchers had noticed that there is tendency for both researchers and laypersons to assume a common understanding of forgiveness (Younger et al., 2004; Lawler-Row et al., 2007). DeCourville et al. (2008) also recognized that researchers have apparently little concern with how forgiveness is actually experienced by laypersons. This study is designed to try to understand how people, especially Indonesian Christians, experience and define interpersonal forgiveness for themselves.

B. Christian understandings of forgiveness
Christian understandings of forgiveness start with Scripture. The word forgiveness brings to mind memorable biblical texts, such as the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), Jesus’ command to forgive seventy times seven, and the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35). When instructing the disciples to pray, Jesus prayed by saying “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12, NIV). Even while being crucified, Jesus prayed that God would have mercy on the people responsible, praying “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV).

Christian basis of forgiveness lies in the transforming message of the Old Testament and the New Testament. Forgiveness is central to the gospel of salvation and shapes Christian identity. It influences practices of piety, and is emphasized in the Lord's Prayer, Christian confessions of faith, and the sacraments. When attempts to practice forgiveness as Christian communities and individuals fail, they repent and ask for God's forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift of God, even as it simultaneously involves their own choices and responses as granters and receivers of forgiveness. As Meek and McMinn (1997) states,

... [F]orgiveness in the Christian Scriptures is much more than religious ritual. It is a progression of healing where people are confronted with the grace and mercy of God, despite their continual failure to deserve it. They learn to proffer the same grace and mercy to others in full awareness of their own fallibility. (p. 51)

All people bear the image of God and have the capacity to be forgiving. Forgiveness is necessary because all people are affected by the fall and experience brokenness in their relationships with God and each other (Witvliet, 2001).

Worthington (2003) argues that gratitude, love, humility, justice, and forgiveness are the major emotions and motivations of Christianity. Christians believe that God is always the initiator of forgiveness, and the expected response to God’s love and forgiveness is gratitude (Psalm 50:14, 23; 1 Thessalonians 5:18). Refusal to forgive someone who hurts us indicates not just ingratitude, but a failure to have received God’s forgiveness.

Gratitude, in effect, creates a path where God’s forgiveness can flow through Christians to others. Following Jesus’ instruction, example and commands – out of gratitude for what God has done for them – Christians are to forgive even their enemies. That is the radical teaching and example of Jesus Christ.

Agape love is Christian’s response to the love of God and is the act they are inspired to do for others (Matthew 22:37-40; Mark 12:28-34; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14; James 2:18). Christianity also gives special importance to humility (Philippians 2:1-11). Apostle Paul urged people to think of themselves the way Jesus thought of himself: to lay down one’s life on behalf of others and to count others as better than oneself (Philippians 2:3). Apostle Peter counted humility as a cardinal virtue (1 Peter 3:8-9).

Christians believe that God is a just God. He is the essence of justice. He demands that Christians be fair and just as well (Micah 6:8). God is merciful and forgiving (Exodus 34:6-7). Therefore, Christians are also to be forgiving.

C. Prior studies on Christians’ practice of granting forgiveness to other people
Theoretical and empirical research shows that Christians are more adept at forgiving on the whole than are non-Christians (Worthington, 2003; Tsang, McCullough, & Hoyt, 2005). People who are highly committed to Christian beliefs and communities, often value forgiveness highly. They are especially likely to forgive quickly because of the power of their beliefs and values. In fact, people with high religious commitment tend to employ their religious beliefs and values across more situations and throughout a longer duration than those of moderate religious commitment (Worthington, 1988; Worthington, Kurusu, McCullough, & Sandage, 1996).

Gorsuch & Hao (1993) surveyed 1030 participants – a representative sample of American adults. They found that people who were more religiously involved continued to place more value on forgiveness than those who were less personally religious. Consistent with traditional Christian teachings, Protestants, Catholics, evangelicals, and the more personally religious generally reported more forgiving responses than Jewish, no/other religious preference, non-evangelical, and less personally religious respondents.

More recently, Gordon et al. (2008) examined the influences of religious orientation to one’s decision to forgive an actual (as opposed to hypothesized) transgression. The results suggested that individuals whose religious beliefs were more intrinsically oriented reported themselves as more forgiving of an actual interpersonal betrayal, whereas high extrinsic religiosity was predictive of higher scores on a vengefulness measure. Individuals with high extrinsic religious orientation were more likely to be influenced by social pressures to forgive. Taken together, the results reveal that one’s religious orientation may be an influential factor in how and why we choose to forgive others.

Thus, there is a growing body of research documenting the relationships between religiosity and forgiveness. However, as with virtually any research, there are limitations to the studies described previously.

Although Gorsuch & Hao’s (1993) study was based on a nationwide random sample of American adults, its findings only reveal what people think and believe about forgiving others; it does not reveal that religious involvement actually influences the extent to which someone is willing to forgive another in an ongoing relationship.

The research conducted by Gordon et al. (2008) relied on self-report inventories. When less obtrusive means of data collection is used, attention should be given to biases such as social desirability that might lead religious respondents to report that they are actually more “forgiving” than they actually appear to be. The relationship between personal religiousness, spirituality, and forgiveness remains to be examined more fully through in-depth measurement of people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours toward their perpetrators.

Another research study suggests that forgiveness is experienced differently. Krause & Ingersoll-Dayton (2001) studied 129 Christians (79 Caucasian, 50 African American) age 65 and over. Results clearly indicated differences: Some Christians forgave quickly, often through imitating God, adhering to Scripture to receive forgiveness from God, or to get other benefits. Other Christians required the perpetrators to do acts of contrition before being willing to grant forgiveness. These acts of contrition involved things such as (1) be aware of wrongdoing, (2) be sorry, (3) express contrition, (4) apologize, (5) ask for forgiveness, (6) offer mitigating account of the transgression, (7) say they will try not to repeat the transgression, (8) change their actual behaviour, (9) make restitution, (10) empathize with their suffering, (11) suffer themselves, (12) try to convince the victim that the perpetrator still values the relationship, or even (13) have the perpetrator keep on giving even after being forgiven.

Krause & Ellison (2003) examined the relationships among forgiveness by God, forgiveness of others, and psychological well-being by interviewing 1,316 elderly Christians, of which about half were Caucasian. They found that elderly Christians who required acts of contrition experienced higher depression, more somatic symptoms, less life satisfaction, and more death anxiety than those who forgave unconditionally. People who felt more forgiven by God were 2 ½ times as likely to forgive without requiring acts of contrition.

This review aimed specifically to explore Christians’ experiences of forgiving their perpetrators. From Scripture, we would expect Christians to forgive more and better than other people. As Worthington (2003) maintained to the degree that Christians practice mercy and gratitude, surrendering to God, and unconditional love without excusing injustice, they ought to be expected to emotionally forgive more often than people whose beliefs and values are different from theirs. Moreover, to the extent that Christians practice responsibility, self-control, justice and accountability, they ought to be expected to proffer decisional forgiveness more than people whose beliefs are different from theirs (Worthington, 2003).

That being said, only because Christians are expected to forgive does not mean that Christians always do forgive. Research conducted by Krause & Ingersoll-Dayton (2001) showed clearly that not everyone experienced forgiveness similarly. Some people forgave instantly. Other people were more reluctant to forgive or intentionally held grudges. Still other people believed that perpetrators had to earn forgiveness through apologizing, suffering, or making restitution. This discrepancies are not as much as Christians might hope, given the central position of forgiveness in Christian doctrines.